I joined a creative writing class last year. Each week the facilitator gives us a topic. Up until now I have written upbeat, amusing (I hope) pieces but this time we were asked to write on CONFUSION and this is what I produced.
Look at me, I’m in a terrible state. Big white lump of plaster on my leg. Don’t know how that got there. Wait a minute, yes I do, my leg, all that blood, I suppose they’re fixing it.
I’m in a hospital but I don’t know which one. They say I fell in the supermarket. If it was Tesco’s in Sandymount this would be St Vincent’s but if it was Lidl in Glasnevin it would be the Mater. I know all the hospitals and I’m good at supermarkets too but they only asked me silly questions like what day it is and who is the President of Ireland, I don’t know, I told them, go and find out for yourself. But the supermarkets well I know them all: H. Williams, Superquinn, Centra, Spar, Tesco, Aldi, Lidl and then there are the ones in England Sainsburys, Waitrose, oh I know them all but no-one seems interested in supermarkets.
Doesn’t matter, they are all very kind and tell me I can go home soon only I don’t know where home is. I told them 17 Dagenham Road, Leyton, London E.10 but they said that can’t be right. Why I don’t know. Just as I was getting a bit angry with them, a nice man helped me fill in the forms and answer all their questions, he seemed to recognise me. Maybe he works in Tesco. Quite fancied him actually but he’d be too old for me. Funny, the nurse said he was my husband. Silly girl that can’t be right, he’s old enough to be my father. But he isn’t. I don’t know why they think he’s my husband.
They keep telling me I’m confused but I’m not. It’s all very straighforward I fell over somewhere and cut myself and broke my leg in one of the supermarkets and now I am in one of the hospitals. I don’t know which one but it doesn’t matter. My mum will come and take me home soon. I wonder where she’s got to.
Lovely girl came in with daffodils and asked me if I knew who she was. Very sorry, I told her, give me a clue. She started to cry so I asked her to leave, can’t be doing with that kind of thing. She said she’d come back but I told her not to bother as I would be going soon. I don’t know what’s keeping Mum.
I don’t know when I am going to get something to eat. It’s 2 o’clock and I haven’t had anything since yesterday. They must have forgotten me. When I shouted they took no notice and that big one told me to be quiet and said I had my dinner half an hour ago, but that’s a lie.
They all have Irish accents here all except the black doctor. I can’t understand him at all. He asked me my name and I said everyone knows their name. That’s easy. I know my name I told him. I told the girl already, it’s Vera, named after Vera Lynn I am. My mum loves her, she’s beautiful. She sings that song – We’ll meet again, don’t know where, don’t know when, don’t know ….., don’t know …………, don’t know….……., don’t know …………….